The Road to NOW

I'm starting a journey.

I think we're all usually on some kind of journey in life whether we realize it while it's happening or not. But this one that I'm about to embark on is very intentional and I'm aware of it and pretty excited about it.

I just recently finished reading the book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. It's an exceptional book about her personal journey through the lessons that brought her to a place in her life where she could be consistently grateful and content. Which is a HUGE feat. Let me disclaim that I personally HATE her writing style. It's all crazy and choppy and abstract and she straight up refuses to use pronouns like "my" or "his" or use her children's names which drives me absolutely bonkers. But once I got used to her style, I was able to enjoy it. It's like the Christian movie "Fireproof"...once you realize that nobody acting in that movie is about to be up for an Academy Award, you can actually relax and enjoy the story line instead of feeling awkward every time someone speaks.

Without going into too much detail recounting the book, Ann Voskamp basically describes all the ways that keeping a continual awareness of our blessings and maintaining an attitude of thankfulness is like a wellspring of deep joy for ALL situations, even the ones that are crappy. At first I was very skeptical like right, who's going to tackle this giant concept? Who REALLY gets this?? But by the end, I got it. It's like I just had to flip my thinking upside down. Once we realize that we're not OWED anything, we're not entitled to anything, and we don't deserve anything...EVERYTHING becomes a gift. Each moment is a blessing directly from God, even if that moment feels frustrating or annoying or exasperating. It's still what the Lord is choosing to give us and it's up to us to thank Him for what He knows is best.

Of course, that is easier said than done and it's easier in some moments than it is in others.

But even as someone who absolutely LOVES my life, I am so often just trying to make it through the days. Waste time until bedtime. Sometimes the days seem to drag on forever but then all of a sudden a month has gone by and I can't believe it.

Do I love my job as a mom?

Yes.

Do I adore my husband and children more than anything?

Yes.

Do I appreciate my life and my blessings?

Yes.

Do I find it immensely irritating when people ask themselves questions and then answer them?

You have no idea.

But still. I wake up WAY too many mornings just wondering what in the world I'm going to do to pass the time today without two toddlers going crazy in my house. And I hate that. I want to be present in every moment because I know these moments will be gone much too quickly. I want to appreciate my days for whatever they are, whether they're boring or stressful or tiring or crazy. So strategy to achieve that goal is to train my heart to become thankful in every moment and situation by thanking God for every blessing that I notice. I'm going to write them down in a journal (or two or three) and see if I can get to 1,000 (that's what Voskamp does in her book). And my hope is that by the time I get to 1,000 written blessings I will have obtained the heart habit of looking for and noticing God's gifts in the (seemingly) ordinary minutes and hours and days of my life, and therein turning the mundane to the miraculous.

My God is so good. I know that in my marrow, but it's about time I start noticing His goodness even when I'm frazzled and pissed. Can I get an Amen??

Ok, I might as well start right now, publicly. Here are my first five written blessings in no particular order and of no ranking importance:

1) Ella's sweet sweaty curls when she wakes up from a summer nap

2) A cool, breezy morning at the playground with good friends and our many offspring

3) The joy of watching friends' bellies swell with life

4) Buying a pair of size 8 jeans and actually zipping them

5) Smoothies made with fresh fruit from the market

Life is good, is it not? Thanks for taking my first steps with me.